Bad Mommy

What makes a good mommy? No serious, I apparently don't know. At least according to my bratty irritating screaming wonderful little girl. She is without a doubt a handful. It started when she was born, 3 and 1/2 months of 12 hours a day colic, and she has only grown worse. I will admit it she is a brat! Her daddy made her that way. OK, I had a small hand in it. Sometimes it is easier to let her have her way than argue with her.

She is 8 going on 18. She has an attitude bigger than the great blue yonder! She is selfish, loud, hateful, and bossy. It must be her way or no way. Do not get me wrong, I LOVE my daughter. I don't like her sometimes, but I always love her. I am that way with all of my kids to some extent. Sometimes I don't like what they do or say but right, wrong, or indifferent I love them.

We have had several rounds with Little Miss lately. Last Thursday, I tried to help her study her spelling words. I stress TRIED! She knew them, she needed NO help! I told her lets go over them ONCE and then we will be done, 5 minutes tops! After finally deciding that I would not be letting this go, she squirmed and twisted and played at the list. She missed 5 of 23 words. I attempted to go back over those 5 words, she claimed to have already done those and she would not be doing them again! I told her she missed them, let's go over these one more time. She claimed I was an idiot and she had not missed any words! I lost it! I had attempted to keep it together and that was it! I told her FINE she had missed those words and when she missed them on the test, perhaps she could admit she should have studied. I went to the kitchen to clean up from supper. She literally threw herself in the floor and screamed about how I did not understand how she felt, I didn't care if she missed those words and had to go through 3rd grade again. I was a BAD Mommy! I ignored her. It was hard, I wanted to go and yank her ass up out of the floor and tan her tail end, but I ignored her and her rant. When she calmed down and I had finished cleaning up the kitchen, I asked if she would like to go over her spelling. *pout* *pout* *whine* Yes. I start at the bottom, like always, and I am told, I was doing it wrong. The teacher starts with the yellow list, goes to the blue list and finishes with the green list, I had, like an idiot, started on the green list. OK, I start with the first word on the yellow list. I am doing it wrong again, I have to mix them up. I am ready to give up! It took us 30 minutes to go over 23 words! She fooled around, she twisted on the couch, she flipped into the floor, she "forgot" the words, if she could do it to drive me crazy, she did it. I remained calm, despite the fact if I got a hold of her I would have beat the hell out of her. I didn't want to, I didn't do it, but had I ever touched her, I believe that I would have just kept on until the police showed up! I was pissed!

Friday, she was moving out and moving in with Grandma. I'm thinking GREAT! She came into the lunchroom with an attitude! She was ready to go, stop talking, let's go! I continued until I was done talking. She walked out of the lunchroom and informed me that she was tired of me making her wait, when she got out of school, she was ready to leave, not wait on me to talk. Had I been able to find ANYONE to talk to I would have talked for a couple of hours! Can you say passive aggressive? We got home, after a very quiet ride home and she started in on me, because she had put up her Nintendo power cord and I must have moved it because she couldn't find it! And she needed it! She was in the middle of a level on Mario and the battery died and now she would never get through it and it was all my fault. HUH? I found the power cord, where I had no doubt hid it from her, under her bed! Well, why would YOU put it there? I guess I live to make her crazy.

Her brother, The Boy came in, he made the mistake of saying , "Hey Buddy!" She ripped him a new one! No one really knows how this one got started. She screamed, she yelled, she ranted. Then it happened, she hit him, he lost it. He grabbed her and twisted her around and smacked her on the tail. She deserved it. She lost it, she kicked, slapped, hit and yelled. He damn near coward in the corner. I yelled for her to get in her room. She stomped off and slammed her door. The Boy asked what the Hell was her problem. I told him I didn't know. She calmed down and apologized to The Boy. She wanted to show me the snowflakes she had made at school. She made 4, she could only find 1. She started pouting, I told her they had probably fell in the floor at school, they would be found and put on the teacher's desk and she could get them Tuesday when she went back. She lost it. They would not be found, they would be put in the garbage. She had worked so hard on them. I didn't care. I was glad she didn't have them, that I would just throw them in the garbage anyway. I was a bad mommy. I tried to be calm, I really did! But she had been ranting all evening! I screamed at her. I told her that if they were found, I was sure they would be put on the teacher's desk, if they weren't found, I was sorry. I had not dropped them in the floor, I had not thrown them away. I could not go back to the school and break in and find them. Screaming, pouting, and crying was not going to do any good. She would have to wait until Tuesday to find out if they were found or not. There was nothing I could do at this point and she was just going to have to get over it! That really set her off. She screamed and I screamed back. I know I am the adult, but this child would make a saint cuss like a sailor sometimes. I finally popped her butt and sent her to her room. The Boy went by and saw her putting everything in her dresser on a blanket, he asked what she was doing. She was moving in with Grandma, Grandma loved her. All we ever did was yell at her and hate her. No one in this house understands her. We don't want her here and she doesn't want to be here so she is moving in with Grandma and maybe we would be happy and stop yelling. He told her to put her stuff back in her dresser. She actually did it. He told her everyone loved her and if she moved we would miss her. He is pretty good for an 18 year old. She went to spend the night with Grandma without further incident.

Sunday night we had another round. One of the hellions had company which meant the youngest hellion would be staying somewhere for the night. Guess where he wanted to stay. That's right here. Well Little Miss told him he would not be playing with her Nintendo, he would not lose her men and mess up her games. Little Hellion 2 said he wouldn't stay then. MIL said they could both stay with her. Little Miss rather snottily said, she didn't want to stay with her. I told Little Miss, I did not want to hear one word about being bored and wishing Hellion 2 had stayed with her or that she had stayed with Mammaw. She said fine, she didn't want to have anything to do with Hellion 2 anyway. We no more than walked out of the door when the crying started. She wanted Hellion2 to stay with her, she was bored, she wanted to stay at Mammaw's. I told her to hush! I had warned her. She threw a hissy, I sent her home to her room. She screamed all the way across the yard about how mean we were and how we don't understand her. When Hellion 2 called and asked her to stay with him at Mammaw's, she never asked if she could, she just packed and was out the door when SIL came to get her and take her to the video store.

She is spoiled, I know this. She is out of control, I know this. My dad claims she runs the house, she doesn't. Sometimes it is just easier and safer to let her have her way. I have never and will never abuse any of my kids. From time to time they got or get their tail ends spanked. I know spank a child and teach them hitting is the answer for anger, blah,blah,blah. Scream and teach them to scream not talk out their problems, blah,blah,blah. Give them a time out and make them think about what they did. Never has worked in my house. (see this old post http://justmylife-mygripespot.blogspot.com/2007/11/stupid-articles-in-magizines.html toward the bottom it talks of time outs.) They think of how they can not get caught the next time, IF they think at all. Ground them, from what? TV, she has all but stopped watching TV except for at bedtime. Video games? She only plays them once it gets dark or if its raining outside. Going? OH come on... that's my only break!

I don't know what is wrong with her lately, she is getting worse. I have tried to talk to her. She just gets snotty and tells me to leave her alone. And yes I have pushed it, you know not leaving her alone. It just makes it worse. I have asked questions when she is not throwing a fit. She just gets snotty, and gives me short answers. Usually NOTHING! I have punished her for her behavior. Just makes her worse or does no good at all. What do you do with an out of control child? Is this a stage? Or is this how its going to be for all eternity? You think I am joking, I am at my wits end.

The Boy has given us our share of problems as of late ( see here http://justmylife-mygripespot.blogspot.com/2007/12/wrapping-biting-fighting-and-sex.html and here http://justmylife-mygripespot.blogspot.com/2007/12/brawl-that-wouldnt-end.html and here http://justmylife-mygripespot.blogspot.com/2007/11/long-sunday.html and here http://justmylife-mygripespot.blogspot.com/2008/01/update-on-boy.html ) and all of this from Little Miss could be her way of dealing with it or so I have been told. She is acting out to get your attention. She has gotten her share of attention lately and doesn't need to act out to get anymore. Same goes for the whole she sees him getting attention by doing wrong, so naturally she is going to try it too. I have even been told to try therapy for her. She is 8 people, I don't think anything has happened to her that requires therapy. She hasn't gone anywhere that I think she could have come across any harm, physically or emotionally.

Any advice? I could use some. What should I try? Anyone else have this problem? She constantly calls me a bad mommy, and I am starting to believe she may be on to something. I am at my wit's end, I may lose it completely if it doesn't start to improve around here. HELP!!! Need to go and accomplish something today. I think I will catch up on my reading.

I do want to thank everyone who has been visiting lately and leaving comments! You know I am a comment whore. I love getting my email and seeing that I have comments! Its a RUSH!!!! I still haven't decided which way to go with blogspot and wordpress, I still have both and thus far it hasn't been to hard to keep up with them. I just write, copy, paste and post. Fairly easy. Just when one seems to be winning for the visits, the other one picks up. So I guess for now I will keep them both. I still don't have a ton of followers but a steady few and it keeps growing in small steps, so I guess I am fairly happy. Again thanks for visiting and keep leaving those comments you know I love them. As Always.......

HAVE A GREAT DAY!!!!!!!