My husband is special. Part 3

Part 1.... http://justmylifemygripespot.wordpress.com/2008/04/17/my-husband-is-special/
Part 2.... http://justmylifemygripespot.wordpress.com/2008/04/18/my-husband-is-specialpart-2/
With any luck, this will be the last post of this silliness. But I really wanted to share his appointment with you and we still haven't gotten in a room.

Idiot, party of two, room 1. Finally getting to a room, that is the final hurdle before seeing the doctor. Of course this is also where my dear husband is at his worst.

He was fairly nice to the nurse. She is a nice lady. He answered her questions without much prodding. Of course he had to ask where the other nurse was, he likes her. Not that she isn't a nice person, because really she is, it's just he misses this other nurse, she really is entertaining

Me: Shut up. Don't you think you have enough foot in your mouth?

Him: I'm sorry, you really are a nice person, I am sure.

Me: SSSSHHHHH!! That's enough.

She leaves and I wondered if she would come back.

Him: Did I sound like an idiot? Are you rubbing off on me?

Me: Yes, you sounded like a babbling fool. I thought I was going to have to catch you when you fell after inserting both feet in your mouth.

Him: Bad?

Me: You have been worse.

Him: Wanna have sex? I doubt she will be back. And you know it will be an hour before he gets in here.

Me: And just what would we do with the other 58 minutes?

Him: Ass, I think I might make it 4 minutes!

Me: Planning on setting records are we!?! Wave at the camera, I am sure they are video taping this room.

Him; *waving at the speaker in the ceiling* Hi, Doc! Close your eyes we are going to .......

Nurse comes back, she has to get him X-rayed. He was embarrassed, he got busted mid sentence, he had to wonder what she heard.

Me: HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Him: Shut up ass, how was I suppose to know she was coming back!

Me: Wonder how long she stood outside the door listening?

Him: Oh God, I didn't think about that! Thanks, now I will have to wonder what she heard.

Me: Your welcome, I didn't think you had thought of that. I thought I would share the thought with you, so you could do a little sweating.

My husband plays with everything he finds in doctor's office. Unscrews bulbs in the little twisty turny lights, pumps up the blood pressure thing and in this office, plays with the "spines" and "knees"

Him: *picking up and putting a knee model between his legs* Wanna little knee?

Me: Looks a little limp to me!

Him: Don't start!

Me: I didn't go there. Put it down before you break it! Don't give me that pouty look. That doesn't help you at all.

Him: But I am bored. There ain't anything to read in here. You won't let me play with anything. You won't let me prowl.

Me: Bless your heart. You have a mean wife, why do you put up with her? Cry me a handful. *cupping my hands together*

Me: Don't you dare spit in my hands!

Him: Who me? Never! What am I suppose to tell him?

Me: The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. The wreck, the other wreck, the hood falling on your head.....

Him: All right, let's not go over this again! I get it.

Me: You asked. Don't get all bitchy on me.

Him: I'll bitchy you...

Doctor comes in and interrupts him. After he looks at him and asks him a few questions, he takes us out to look at his X-ray. I like X-rays. They look neat. He shows him how this, this, and this vertebra measure 6 and this vertebra measures 7, but this one between them measures 5. Shows him he has an irregular disk. And this is a prominent spur and there seems to be another one up here. He is ordering an MRI to see just how bad or good it is. We go back in the room.

My husband ask him what this noise is.... He moves his shoulder around and this awful crunching noise fills the room. Catches the docs attention. That is your shoulder, not your neck. Hubby says, yea, what is it?

That is called jhdfjhaoiraiajdfajfoiwe, don't know what the hell he called it. I fake it well, ask him what it means.

It's uncommon, but it is a bursa sac between your shoulder blade and your ribs. I can drain it, but you risk dropping a lung.

Hubby: That's OK, it's rare?

Me: Not rare, just uncommon. Doc, I would like to see you drain it. Just how painful is dropping a lung? And do you have the little tube to stick in his side to re inflate it? Come on..... I think that would be just too cool!!!!

Hubby: Would you just shut up! SO I am rare! See I told you I was special!!!

Me: Great! His head will never fit through the door now!!!!

So there you have it, why my husband is special. I can't convince him it isn't rare, just uncommon. He likes having something "rare" wrong with him. He is telling everyone. He is so cute, like a baby with a new toy. I get to hear that crunching noise, that gets on my last nerve, often now. It is getting louder. Or maybe I just am tired of hearing it.

Up next...... How the hell does he keep surviving!?!

So until next time.......

HAVE A GREAT DAY AND THANKS FOR VISITING!!!!!